Battle of the Sexes
by Twilight DeLucca
Summary: No summary needed. Sakura gets jealous and the girls pay the boys back for strip clubbing. Rated T for the strippers.
1. Chapter 1

Neji/Saku

Sasu/Tem

Shika/Ino

Naru/Hina

Kiba/TenTen

Jiraya/Tsunade

Chapter One: Boy's Night Out Gone Wrong!

Rated T for strippers

* * *

"I'm bored." Haruno Sakura said as she yawned. 

"Me too." Hyuuga Hinata replied as Sakura twirled a kunai on her index finger boredly.

"Sakura what are you doing with that kunai?" Yamanaka Ino asked.

"Entertaining myself." Sakura replied.

"Maybe we should call the boys." Yuuhi TenTen suggested.

"Well maybe..." Ino, Sakura, and Hinata chorused.

"They're at a strip club." Sabaku no Temari cut them off before they could finish their sentence.

"Oh no. You may have just sent Sakura into a rage." Hinata said with a shiver of fear.

"Oh really? Well we'll just have to see what they find so entertaining about those strippers that we can't provide." Sakura said as she twitched visibly.

"Now Sakura-chan calm down. I'm sure it's not that bad." Hinata pleaded, trying to placate her before she went homicidal.

(With the boys)

"I can sense a murderous chakra headed our way." Hyuuga Neji said.

"It's Sakura-chan." Uzumaki Naruto said with a shiver.

"How troublesome. Why can't she let us enjoy our night in peace?" Nara Shikamaru asked lazily.

"She _hates_ strip clubs." Inuzuka Kiba said nervously.

"Shikamaru's right. I don't see what's wrong." Uchiha Sasuke said with a shrug.

"Of course you don't. Temari doesn't care if you visit these stupid things. I'm leaving so that I can see daylight. Sakura will kill me if she catches me here." Neji said as he got up to leave.

"Hinata-chan doesn't mind but Sakura-chan will kill both of us Sasuke." Naruto said with a reminder at the end for the Uchiha prodigy.

"Good point. Inner Sakura is scary." Sasuke said with a shiver.

Everyone gets up to leave but they're stopped by the women lead by a majorly pissed Sakura.

"What's so good about a bunch of whores that we don't have! Hn!" Sakura was shouting at Neji.

"Nothing! It's not favoritism honey!" Neji replied fearfully.

"Oh _really_? It must be something if you go every night." Sakura said with a snort. "Are you cheating on me Ne-ji-kun?" Sakura asked with sweetness and acid dripping from her voice.

"No! Why would you think that!" Neji protested angrily.

"Oh I don't know. Maybe because you're always going out to see half-naked whores!" Sakura screeched venomously.

"Calm down Sakura-chan." Hinata attempted to soothe her anger before she started destroying things.

"Fine. But you _know_ that if we-gods forbid-went to a male stripper dance, they'd spit flames and insane." Sakura said calmly. "But it's ok for them to watch women." She added viciously.

"She's got a point." Temari said.

"Yeah. She does." TenTen agreed.

"Kill them. I could care less." Hinata said lazily. (When she said this, the boys started panicking and looking around for places to hide from Sakura's wrath)

"Nah. I'm not gonna kill them. We'll just plan a party." Sakura said lazily as well.

"Ooh! With stippers? All in those tight, yummy pants!" Temari squealed.

"And those speedo things and the other sexy clothes?" TenTen added.

"With all those hot, deliciously muscled bodies?" Ino drooled.

"Yup. And we'll get drunk." Sakura replied. The guys are twitching now as they start getting mad.

"I'll bring the sake!" Ino shouted.

"Hinata and I will get the strippers!" Temari shouted.

"I'll bring the weapons just in case they get a little fresh." TenTen said happily.

"I'll buy the food!" Sakura said.

"How can you just say all that in front of us!" Neji shouted.

"Did you hear a protest?" Sakura asked.

"Nope." Ino replied.

"Not me." Hinata replied.

"Did you?" TenTen asked.

"It's settled. I'll see if I can convince Gaara to have a little fun." Temari said.

The girls screamed. "Ooh! He has the _HOTTEST_ body _ever_!" Sakura squealed.

"Hell yeah! He puts Naruto to shame!" Hinata agreed with the same squeal.

"_Yeah_! Kiba's hot but Gaara is volcanic!" TenTen agreed drooling slightly.

"Kankuro works out too but he hates strippers. Unless they're women." Temari said.

"I accidentally walked in on Gaara once. Wowie wow! I thought I was gonna die of lust." Sakura moaned. Anime anger marks were pulsing on their men's head but the women ignored them.

"I think it worked." Ino whispered.

"So do I." Temari whispered back.

"Ok. Let's go home." Sakura whispered back with a smirk on her face. The women left the parking lot and let their men stew in their anger.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two: Girl's Night Out Gone Sorta Wrong!

Neji/Saku

Sasu/Tem

Shika/Ino

Naru/Hina

Kiba/TenTen

Jiraya/Tsunade

* * *

"I'm bored." Hyuuga Neji said as he yawned. 

"Me too.Since the girls forbade us from strip clubs." Uzumaki Naruto replied.

"We should just watch TV. It's not like we have anything to do otherwise." Nara Shikamaru said lazily.

"True. I blame you Kiba. It was your idea to go to the strip club in the first place." Uchiha Sasuke said with a yawn.

"Hey!" Kiba pouted. Suddenly he grinned. "Let's go spy on the girls." He said.

"Ok!" Everyone agreed.

"How troublesome." Shikamaru added.

"If we get caught I'm blaming you Kiba." Neji added his two cents in.

"Yeah yeah." Kiba replied waving his hand dismissively.

(With the girls)

"So are they here?" Haruno Sakura asked.

"Yeah! Relax forehead-chan!" Yamanaka Ino replied.

"If we get caught, we're so dead." Hyuuga Hinata pointed out.

"But we're not _gonna_ get caught." Sabaku no Temari replied.

"This plan is invincible!" Yuuhi TenTen agreed.

"Ok." Sakura replied.

"Yatta! Girls rule!" Hinata squealed.

"You're silly Hinata-chan!" Sakura giggled.

"Remember not to attack anyone." Temari reminded them. They all giggled.

"Let's get started." TenTen said eagerly. They opened the door and let the male strippers in.

"Hey! You got him!" Sakura cheered when she saw Gaara.

"Told you it's good to be a women." Temari replied.

"WE LOVE YOU TEMARI!" The girls squealed.

(Outside)

"They actually went through with this absurd idea! Neji demanded with his Byakugan activated unconsciously.

"Grr." Sasuke growled as his sharingan activated unconsciously as well.

"I think I see Tsunade." Shikamaru whispered as Jiraya sppeared.

"Tsunade talked Kakashi inot being a male stripper." Jiraya said as a greeting.

"That sounds so wrong. Kakashi and stripping don't mix." Naruto said with a twich.

"Shh. They'll hear us!" Kiba hissed softly.

(Inside)

"Kakashi-sensei?" Sakura asked drooling.

"Yep. Me." Hatake Kakashi replied.

"The mask too!" Sakura said with stars in her eyes.

"Yeah! I wanna see!" Ino agreed.

"I heard from Sakura that you're really hot!" Temari drooled.

"Me too! I want proof!" Hinata agreed.

"Yeah! Let the show begin!" TenTen shouted.

"I brought sake!" Tsunade shouted.

"The more the merrier!" Temari replied happily.

The show began with Kankuro whom Temari convinced to dance too since Gaara was.

"Take it off Kankuro!" TenTen squealed.

(outside)

"They're goin' down." Neji promised as he twitched.

"Oh yes." Sasuke agreed.

"The shame." Jiraya said.

"So unfair! They can watch strippers but we can't!" Naruto whispered.

"Troublesome." Shikamaru sighed.

(Inside)

"Ooh! I never knew you were hiding _all that_ under those baggy clothes!" Sakura sighed dreamily as she tucked a twenty into Kankuro's pants.

"I should be ranked up there with Jiraya, Naruto and Kakashi. Most of these men are young enough to be my sons. Oh well." Tsunade said with a shrug. Kakashi came out on stage next and the women went wild.

"Take it all off Sensei! Take it _all_ off!" Sakura squealed.

(outside)

"Grr. They did this on purpose! I know they did!" Neji growled with a scowl.

(Inside)

"So hot! Must molest!" Temari swooned. The other women sat on her.

"You can't! Sasuke'll kill you! And him!" They shouted.

"I don't care! He's sooooooooo fine!" Temari drooled. Kakashi smirked and the women squealed.

"Now that you mention it..." Sakura trailed off. "No! Must resist!" She steeled herself.

"I can't touch anyone! One I'm married to Jiraya and two I'm older than everyone but Kakashi!" Tsunade began. She started sobbing. "It's not _fair_!" She wailed.

"It's Ok Shishou! I've got the perfect solution!" Sakura soothed with an evil grin.

"What are you planning?" Ino asked suspiciously.

Before Sakura could answer, the boys stormed in.

"I can't _believe_ you women!" Neji bellowed.

"Eh heh heh. Hi Neji-kun." Sakura said nervously as she imitated Naruto's head scratch.

"Don't you 'Hi Neji-kun' me!" Neji shouted.

"Temari!" Sasuke shouted angrily.

"Oh! H-hello S-Sasuke-kun." Temari stammered as she started sweating.

All the male strippers snuck away unnoticed so that they wouldn't get hurt.

"Why TenTen! I thought you _loved_ me!" Kiba sobbed fake anime tears.

"I _do_ love you Kiba! We were just having a little fun!" TenTen replied as she twitched.

"Ino you're so troublesome." Shikamaru scolded lazily.

"Shika don't be like that!" Ino pleaded.

"I can't believe you're a pervert too Tsunade." Jiraya said happily.

"I _know_! It's horrible!" Tsunade agreed shamefully as she started sobbing.

"Are you mad Naruto?" Hinata asked timidly.

"Nah. Not really." Naruto replied.

"Oh. Wanna go home?" Hinata asked.

"Sure." Naruto replied. They left Sakura and Neji's house as did the other couples. Some to carry on their arguments at home and others to just go home.

"Gomen? I just wanted to show you how it felt." Sakura said.

"It's Ok. I learned my lesson." Neji sighed.

"Good. So did I. On the bright side, I learned that if we ever broke up, Kakshi can keep me very happy. And Kankuro too." Sakura said drooling slightly.

"Sa.Ku.Ra!" Neji said warningly with a murderous glare.

"Just kidding." Sakura giggled. "Well mostly." She mumbled to herself.

"Uh...The end?" Neji asked with a sweat drop.


End file.
